Best practices in client relations - by Abe Bergman

I’ve been blessed to sit at the helm of a very sales-driven commercial mortgage company for the last 26 years. Over that time, we’ve built a deep bench of loyal clients, many who’ve evolved from new clients into close friends. 

As with anything worthwhile, that hasn’t come without its share of trials and tribulations. I’ve been yelled at by clients, threatened with being “never spoken to again,” and everything in between. 

But some of my proudest moments are when one of those previously upset clients end up in the “close friends” category.

How do we do it?

In my experience, there are three key steps to building and maintaining long-term relationships:

1. Admit when you’re wrong

This may not be the first thing that comes to mind when thinking about long-term relationships, but in my opinion, it’s the single most valuable lesson.

I learned this as a young mortgage broker while sitting in a neighborhood pizza shop with a friend. A customer who’d left minutes earlier suddenly stormed back in, clearly furious. He slammed his bag on the counter and yelled, “I ordered a vegetable calzone, and I got a mushroom calzone!” Now, I happen to love mushrooms, but I also understood why he was upset.

What happened next stuck with me for life:

Instead of yelling back, making excuses, or telling the guy to calm down, the owner quickly turned to his employee and said, “This man is right. That was unfair to him. Let’s get a vegetable calzone heated up right away so we don’t waste his time.”

That was it. The owner simply admitted the mistake and took full responsibility. It took the entire wind out of the customer’s sails. No argument. No excuses. No defensiveness.

I sat there amazed, and honestly thanked God that I had witnessed that moment. I’ve made mistakes, everyone does. Even AI makes mistakes. But when they occur, call the client, be upfront, tell them what happened, and explain how you’re correcting it. This doesn’t weaken the relationship, it builds it.

And one more thing: when apologizing, lose the word “but.”

“I’m sorry, but…” means you’re about to make an excuse.

Skip the “but.” If you’re sorry, just say you’re sorry. That alone goes much further than most people realize.

2. Care about your client’s success

Salespeople often fall into the tunnel vision of chasing a commission. It’s natural. We all have bills to pay. But successful salespeople understand that the long game wins, both selfishly and altruistically.

Self-help author Neville Goddard said, “The world is a mirror, forever reflecting what you are doing within yourself.” If you want your client to trust you, like you, and view you as part of their inner circle, you must start by truly caring about their success. Not pretending, but actually caring – and always making decisions that are in their best interest.

Yet in the mortgage brokerage world, this can be easier said than done. We face this challenge daily. Do we push a client to refinance so we can earn a fee, even if they may be better off waiting? Do we steer them toward a lender we’re friendlier with, even if another lender is a better fit? The toughest decisions are the close calls – and where character shows. 

Our company markets itself as a “trusted advisor.” In this spirit, we created an internal peer-review process to openly discuss these dilemmas. If you’re going to call yourself a “trusted advisor,” you’d better make sure you’re living up to that title.

And I can say with absolute certainty, in the long run, it pays off. Clients are naturally suspicious of salespeople, and rightfully so. If you want to be viewed differently, you have to earn it, consistently and intentionally.

3. Competitors can be collaborators

Many new salespeople see competitors as enemies. They avoid them, fear them, won’t ask questions, and certainly won’t help them. For some, this mindset lasts a lifetime. In my experience, nothing could be more limiting.

Over the years, I’ve built strong relationships with many of my toughest competitors. We collaborate regularly. We bounce ideas off each other, help one another, and even share new lending sources when we uncover them.

At the end of the day, everyone gets their slice of the business. No one is taking 100 percent of the market. But by collaborating, we serve clients better, earn more loyalty, and close more deals.

Driving long-term success

Client relationships aren’t built on perfection. They’re built on honesty, humility, genuine care, and the willingness to work with others, not against them. By admitting mistakes openly, prioritizing your client’s success over your own short-term gain, and viewing your competitors as potential partners rather than threats, you create a business foundation that lasts decades. 

Commissions come and deals come. But more importantly, relationships come -- and those relationships become the real engine that drives long-term success. 

For more information about Eastern Union, please visit Eastern Union.

Abe Bergman is the president of Eastern Union, Brooklyn, NY.