Child safety: Simple rules to ensure the face of the missing child on the milk carton doesn't belong to you

With the holidays coming up, children's minds are on turkeys, presents, playing in the snow and time off from school. The last thing on their minds is their safety. That's where we, as adults, come in. Not too long ago, one of my co-workers came to me with a letter (no envelope) that had been left in her home mailbox, admiring her daughter and telling her what a "beautiful young woman" this 10 year old child was. Needless to say, the mother was beside herself and wasn't sure what steps to take (besides calling the police) to protect her child. Unfortunately, the police are re-active, not pro-active; that is, they really can't do anything until a crime has been committed. That's where we, as parents, and as private security practitioners, come in. The mother and I reviewed some basic steps to be executed to keep the child aware, without scaring her, and in the meantime, to enable law enforcement to be able to identify the child and lead to her safe recovery should a parent's worst nightmare ever come to pass. They include: * Making a video of your child, stating his or her name, address, phone number, age and mom's and dad's name. Also ask your child what his or her favorite hobby is, or what he likes to do when school's out, so you can get a record of speech patterns. This should be done every six months or so, since children grow so quickly. (An added benefit of this is that, if you don't erase previous recordings, in 10 or so years, you'll have a journal of your child's growth and development.) * You can also fingerprint your child. Fingerprints never change, even as we grow up or grow older. There are a number of websites you can visit for child safety or fingerprint kits: www.yoursafechild.com; http://fingerprintpads.com and www.fingerprintamerica.com are just three that showed up under a Google search for child fingerprint kits. * Establish a secret phrase or codeword, known only to you and your child, so that if someone claims to have been sent to pick the child up, the child will know it's legitimate. It should also be mentioned that this word or phrase should be used even if the person claims to be a police officer or is in any type of uniform. The word or phrase should be something the child can remember, like a relative's first name or a food the child loves (or hates). * Even more important, does your child know what to do in the event an adult claims to be sent from the parent and doesn't know the "magic" word or phrase? Does he have a whistle he can carry in his backpack or pocket, to be used only for emergencies? Does she know she can run into a nearby store or restaurant and ask the staff for help? Or, simply yell for help? By following some simple, common sense rules, you can help to ensure that the face of the missing child on the milk carton doesn't belong to you. Fern Abbott is the director of AFI Security Training Institute, Metuchen, N.J., a NJSP certified security officer instructor, and is also a security manager at a facility in northern N.J.