June 25, 2012 - Long Island
Mr. Investor Q. Psychology was recently declared deceased; the exact time unknown. Medical examiners believe time of death was shortly after a botched public offering of a mega-sized social media stock offering.
Mr. Psychology had reportedly been in ill health for some time. The medical examiner's office believes the exact cause of death was a broken heart. His health decline began late in 2007 when he contracted "sub-prime-itis." In the following years, of particular cause to his damaged health was political stress. He tried to muster enough strength to overcome a debt downgrade from last summer, but it caused irreparable harm to his belief system.
He began life shortly after WWll and began an illustrious career in 1980 as a major benchmark that grew as a reflection of American pride in its economy. His dramatic rise to wealth was not always smooth; a cold war, numerous recessions, and a terrorist attack on his own home all took a toll on his health. But he was always able to bounce back. It was when his health was downgraded in the form of the above mentioned debt downgrade by S&P that left him unable to recover. Politicians, who were put in charge of many facets of Mr. Psychology's health, simply could not make any lifesaving decisions. Finger pointing and mudslinging turned out to be bad medicine and while that seemed rather obvious, the politicians seemed oblivious.
Mr. Psychology was especially worried about bank contagion in the years leading up to his death. He didn't realize until it had already begun to infect the global financial system that it had to be stopped. His despair grew worse when he realized that the people who could arrest the contagion were the very same politicians who were watching over him. His last words were uttered to his last remaining friend, Ben Bernanke, were, "you must get the politicians to compromise on fiscal policy before the end of 2012...it's our only hope."
Upon examining some of his most recent writings, economists discovered that Mr. Psychology still had hope for the future after his passing. In particular, immense natural gas reserves, the upcoming widening of the Panama Canal, a manufacturing renaissance, and repaired corporate balance sheets would eventually coalesce around a new Mr. Psychology, beginning a new and sustained rise in America's economy.
Services were held at 11 Wall St., New York, N.Y. Burial was at Trinity Church on Broadway.
(This was written by an investment professional, Mitchell Goldberg, who is optimistic on the American economy and who believes that new bull markets and economic recoveries are born from extreme lows in investor confidence and poor economies. He believes this is the case today.)
Mitchell Goldberg is the president and an investment professional at ClientFirst Stratgey, Inc., Woodbury, N.Y.